Ideas?

I need to just DO something today. Sitting around my house all weepy is just not cutting it.
It’s rainy. But I don’t care. I need to get out of this house.
Any ideas?

The fib.

I’ve been putting off writing this post all day. But I know I just need to get it all out, so here goes.

We told you all a little fib. We had good intentions, but still.

See, we told everyone that our pregnancy test was scheduled to be this coming Monday (2 weeks after our IVF transfer of 2 embryos). It wasn’t.
It was yesterday…and it wasn’t good news. Big, fat negative. Again.

I don’t know why, but as soon as we heard the news, I couldn’t even look David in the eye. It was too painful. After the devastating results, we waited in a conference room for thirty minutes so that Dr. Lu could come talk to us. Thirty minutes of holding hands, crying, but not looking at each other. It was the longest thirty minutes of my life. Talking with the doctor about it really did help though. And by the end of the conversation, I could see my husband again, and let him see me.

Since then, I’ve had 27.5 hours to soak it in, and I am ok. As much as it sucks to say this, I’m used to this feeling. After years of trying on our own, 5 IUIs, and now 2 IVFs, I’ve never had anything but a negative test… so I’m not being dramatic when I say that. I really am just used to it. I’m almost numb to it even. Don’t get me wrong, I balled my eyes out yesterday afternoon. But the crying didn’t last as long this time. The only people I’ve spoken to out loud about it are David & our doctor. It’s not that I can’t, I really just don’t want to. There’s nothing left to say (or hear).

I know this story is new to most of you, but David & I have been going through this for FOUR. YEARS. I won’t say I’m jaded, bc I’m not. I just know that it’s just another bump in the road, and we do have more plans for the future. We have eight little baby embryos waiting for us in Nola for Heaven’s sake. As much as my human body wants to just quit everything & escape to someplace where no one even knows us; my broken heart & my spirit know that there’s more to this journey. And even though it’s hard, we owe it to those eight little yo-yos to keep on going.

The reason we lied about the test is we wanted to give ourselves some time to get some things together & surprise everyone with the awesome news this weekend. When everyone would be thinking that we hadn’t taken it yet, we could surprise them! That’s just one more thing that sucks about the IVF journey. It takes most of the fun out of the whole process. I’ll never be able to cleverly surprise David with the news. So we thought it would be fun if we could at least try to surprise our family & close friends. Maybe next time… although I kinda just ruined that too, didn’t I? Oh well… c’est la vie.

Most of you who actually know me in real life know that I’m a “spunky” person on the outside. It’s just my personality. I have to warn y’all I will probably be “faking it” for a little while…ESPECIALLY at work. I think getting back to exercising is going to help A LOT. I’ve been looking forward to an endorphin rush for so long. But to do that, I’ll need to go back to interacting with a lot of people who have no clue why I was on my “break.” Believe it or not, faking it will actually help me snap out of sinking into a depression. I know this about myself. It’ll help me keep my mind off everything. Smiling & laughing IS my medicine. So just don’t call me out on it, ok? By that I mean, if we’re in a group of people & I’m acting like everything’s fine…DO NOT  pull me aside and say something like “Hey…How are you….really?” That is NO BUENO. And I WILL resent you for it. Just being honest. I’m planning on going back to work on Monday. So I have a few days to work myself up to dealing with the crowds. Don’t worry.

I’m not saying I don’t appreciate your concern. I REALLY do. It’s just much easier for me to be honest about it & receive it if we are completely alone, or if you check in on me via text, or through a message, or even comment on this blog or something. Face to face moments (with other people around) in times like this are just not my thing. I can’t explain it. But I need you all to know I really am doing OK today.

The thing that sucked most about today was taking my pre-natal vitamins. I’ve said it before & I’ll say it again: Taking pre-natals the day after a negative pregnancy test is one of the SUCKIEST things in the UNIVERSE.  Seriously. I mean, if they’d be normal size pills that you didn’t have to hype yourself up to take… or CHEW… that would be one thing. But there’s no mindless taking of a pre-natal. There’s just not. There’s hope in every swallow. Plus, there’s two of them. Every day. It blows.

Now…to answer the million dollar question:
There is NO explanation as to why this time didn’t work. Nothing went wrong. Everything in all human control went absolutely perfectly. The embryos just didn’t attach to my uterus. The embryos were great. My uterus is fine. My lining was exceptional. The miracle of attaching just didn’t happen. It is what it is. Dr. Lu flat out told us that he would not ever give us false hope. There’s no point to that. But to believe him when he says that he has EVERY reason to believe that we will be successful with one or more of the remaining eight frozen embryos. If there was something he should warn us about, he would. He just sees nothing wrong. I almost wish something would have gone wrong so I could blame it on something. But I can’t. It’s nature. Even fertile couples don’t have a 100% success rate…could you imagine that? We can do everything in our power to MAKE something happen. But if it’s not meant to be, it just won’t be. So this is just not our time. That’s how I KNOW it’s a God-thing.  Sure, this could easily test our faith. But we won’t let it. All TWELVE of the original embryos already had a destiny before we even dreamed of them. Two stopped growing in the petri dish, two were transferred but died before they could implant. And we have no idea what God has planned for the other eight. But there IS a plan. I firmly believe that. I just have to keep praying for God’s Grace over my heart, His protection over my mind (so the devil doesn’t try to seep into my thoughts), and His strength for my body so I can gear up for when our FET (frozen embryo transfer) will be. Don’t worry, that is at least (maybe more than) six weeks away.

I have to admit, I’m looking forward to focusing my attention on the next step. It will really help me get over this. Or at least peacefully pass through it.

So, that’s where we are.
I may or may not write again soon. But please know that your friendship & support does mean the world to me, even if I can’t reciprocate it right now. And we are very sorry for “the fib.” We really did have good intentions.

Much love,
Emily

JER 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Hmmm…

Is God speaking to us through fortune cookies again?! I sure hope so!!! LOL
One. More. Week!

They should’ve stopped at “Back to the Future 2”

WARNING– This is a post with a lot of fluff & very little information. Read at your own risk!

Welp! We’ve officially got one week of rest under our belts…HOLLA! Thank you all for the texts, messages, & visits!! You really know how to make a gal feel special 🙂

It really wasn’t horrible. The rest was quite welcomed actually.
I spent the first couple of days since Sunday on strict bed rest, watching lots of movies, eating fertility foods, “keeping my palace warm,” and snuggling. We had a few visitors, so that was awesome! It really wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. But my hips were still kinda sore from the progesterone shots.

Then on Wednesday, I had my first venture into the real world: David offered to take me to lunch! Of course I picked my favorite (and possibly the only) little café/sandwich shop in town. Not only do they have delish food, but it’s exactly one block from my studio, which gave me an optimal excuse to drop by & check on things. You can take the girl out of her business, but you can’t take the business out of the girl, I guess! lol
So we parked by the studio, I checked in on things, we walked a block to lunch, ate, and walked a block back to the car.
I. WAS. EXHAUSTED.
{Seriously! What has happened to me? If this is any indication of what bed rest does to my body, going back to work is going to be a WHAMMY!!!  BUT, I’m not letting myself get nervous about that…what happens, happens.}

We went back home and I rested before it was time to leave for my acupuncture appointment. Then we headed over to Dr. D’s office. I waited 30 minutes, spoke with him for about 5 minutes to give him an update of what’s been going on over the past 2 weeks since I’ve seen him…all for him to tell me in his Belgian accent, “I do not feel comfortable sticking needles into your embryo nesting temple.”
Whhaaaaaaa?? LOL Although I do totally understand where he was coming from, I have to admit that it kinda ticked me off that the last 45 minutes of my life could’ve been spent in bed. He was genuinely excited, though, so that really helped. I can’t even count how many people have individually told me (like it’s a secret or something) “I have a good feeling about this.” But I do know hearing it from a doctor makes it seem extra true!
We headed home and I rested for the remainder of the day.

Waking up Thursday morning was no walk in the park. I was incredibly sore….like, REALLLLY sore…in my left hip. I mean, I could barely move my leg…SORE. I chalked it up to having too much activity the day before and rested all day.  My heating pad was a real life saver that day. Two & a half “Back to the Futures” (let’s be real…the third one is just D.U.M.B.) and a chicken noodle soup later, it was time for bed.

On Friday, I felt awesome! My hips felt so much better (although they were still not 100%), so I decided to go into the studio while David worked on some things outside. My first outing by myself! I parked as close to the studio as possible, and went straight in to sit at my desk….NO walking blocks this time! I’ve learned my lesson! It was nice to catch up with one of my instructors who was there. We worked on her wedding invitations (eek!), and I finished up some design work for our new studio tanks…(Y’all…they are SO cute! I can not even wait to get them!) Then I headed to the printer to drop the tanks & design off, and back to the hizzouse I went. It felt really good! I felt productive for the first time in WEEKS! And my body wasn’t screaming at me, so that was nice. lol
I rested for a while, then decided to head out to the grocery store. We basically needed everything. So I planned from the get-go to take my time, lean on the basket when I got tired, and ask for help when I needed it. It was a success! It’s so funny how a trip alone to the grocery store can make you feel like you’ve gained some sort of lost independence. I was so proud of myself!

Last night though, my left hip was screaming at me. Again, I guess I was just a little too ambitious. What’s worse- my heating pad decided to crap out on me and David was at work. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreat…so I laid as still as possible and watched “Step Mom” before falling asleep. (If you’ve never seen that movie, I highly encourage you to watch it. I’ve had the privilege of never having a step mom, but I can totally relate to the underlying cancer/family storyline…it’s truly touching) Sleeping was rough, but I managed.

This morning, I’m still a little sore, so I’m planning on taking it easy. I’m catching up on some laundry, and crafting for Ms. A’s wedding while watching Harry Potter. That’s it. NO venturing today. lol

While watching Justin Timberlake on Jimmy Fallon (on my DVR) this morning, I had the sudden urge to go to a parade. I’m not real big into Mardi Gras, but one thing that I absolutely LOVE is hearing & watching the high school bands play & march…it’s one of the best & happiest feelings! I just can’t describe it. I called my mom & dad to see if they were going to tomorrow’s parade, but my dad said they’re calling for rain 😦 No thank you. I guess I’ll have to “settle” for lunch at my culinary award winning Maw’s house…darn, right? LOL I’m excited to spend some time with family tomorrow…but don’t worry…I WILL TAKE IT EASY!

Thanks for all the love, guys! I feel like I was rambling & didn’t really give you guys ANY information….but not much is going on! Hopefully I’ll have A LOT more to say after next week’s visit to the doctor! EEK!!!

Much love,
Em

ps- If some of you are wondering- only my left hip is hurting, which I find very strange because we alternate hips every day with the shots. It has me thinking that we might have struck a nerve one day on my left side…do you even have nerves in your butt cheeks? IDK… But I guess I’ll be doing some research on it, even though I promised my nurse I would not do ANY MORE medical research lol I’ll let you guys know what I find!
My actual body & “embryo nesting temple” feel fine haha! So that’s a good sign! All the aches, pains, and tiredness is coming straight from that left hip…so we shall see…

OH!! And I MUST add that David has been AMAZING throughout all of this! He is so caring, giving, loving, attentive…the list goes on & on. I feel sorry for the people who don’t have a David in their lives. He’s going to be a STELLAR daddy!!! MUAH, babe!!! And THANK YOU.

“One…Two…TWINS!”

YESTERDAY WAS TRANSFER DAY!!!

And everything went PERFECTLY, y’all!  We are so excited!

We arrived at FINO around 7:50am, and I started drinking water immediately. They said that having a full bladder would tilt my uterus into the exact position needed for the transfer. We had an hour before the actual procedure to drink water, goof off, take my morning meds, and chat with the nurses. Since it was Sunday, it was a lot less busy in the IVF lab than we’re used to seeing it. That actually put me at ease…it was definitely a calming atmosphere. I’m assuming the valium they gave me had something to do with that as well. Here are some pics we took while we were bored & waiting for 9:00am to roll around:

Pardon the no-make up, please 🙂 I was also super proud of my blue cone-head once my cap was on LOL

A little before 9:00am, we met Dr. Dunaway. He was really nice, and so reassuring! He said we were in a GREAT position. And I know from experience that these docs DO NOT overpromise or over exaggerate, so I was completely relieved. Dr. Dunaway showed us our blastocyst (mature embryo) grades, and explained that we had 3 that were in “the sweet spot.” Those 3 were 97 cell, grade 4s!!! HALLELUJAH!!!
We had others that hadn’t caught up to that yet, one that was over-mature, and a few that were still morulas (which basically means they had not split into blastocysts quite yet, but they’re on the way).

Dr. Dunaway suggested that we transfer 2 of the 97 cell grade 4s, because it would be really tough for my short stack of a body to carry 3 babies. So we agreed & it was time! Everything went perfectly! It was so funny too, because as Dr. D was counting down to the actual transfer, he said “One….two….TWINS!” lol I just loved that! Everyone in the room was so happy! And the embryologist assured us that she would call on Monday (today) with the final count of how many we will freeze because she’s still looking at the baby morulas. When she was rolling me away, the nurse assured me that this embryologist was THE best because she treats each little embryo as if it’s a little baby. Which IT IS, so I’m so thankful for that!

After about a half-hour in the recovery room, we were on our way home! I slept the whole ride home and basically the rest of the day.
I’m feeling great (besides still being sore from the progesterone shots)! I’m “keeping my palace warm,” eating lots of pineapple & Brazil nuts, and drinking a ton of room temperature lemon water. I also had a lovely visit from my mom & one of my aunts yesterday evening, so that was really nice 😉 All in all, bed rest has been pretty easy to get used to LOL I have 24 more hours of “strict” bed rest, and then I can switch to “light” bed rest for a few days. Then back to normal life with no exercise, which (as many of you know about me) is NOT normal! I won’t be able to go back to teaching for two more weeks. I think that’s going to be the hardest part. I am so grateful for all my girls that are running the studio for me right now. I don’t know what I’d do without them!

I also just got the call from FINO about how many blastocysts were frozen. Are you ready for this?? EIGHT!
Eight little baby embryos were frozen for us to either use later if we need/want to, or to donate. We’re not making any decisions about this until we need to. I also am so pleased that in the state of Louisiana, it is illegal to “dispose” of frozen embryos. I also find this odd on the abortion issue, but I won’t get started on that. We’d be here for years!

Again, thank you all so much for all of your love & support, texts, visits, meals, etc. The nurses said that it is crucial that I surround myself with positive people who bring light & love into my life over the next few weeks. And I’m so proud to say that will definitely NOT even be an issue because you, my friends, ROCK MY SOCKS!!

Much Love!
Emily

PS- I forgot to mention something very important: This journey is definitely NOT over. We still need prayers that either one or both of the embryos will ATTACH. This is where a true miracle comes in…it is totally in God’s hands! So PLEASE bend His ear for us whenever you can!!! Thanks friends 😊💖🙏🐣🐣

“Left Cheek, Right Cheek…”

First off, I just GOTTA tell y’all…progesterone shots HUUUUUUUURT!!!
They go right into your hip/butt muscles, and alternate “cheeks” every day. I’m on my fourth one today and I am SO sore! Every time I think about it, the song “Booty Work” comes into my head. Except in my head I’m singing, “Oh yea my booty hurts, booty hurts, boo-boo-boo-boo-booty hurts. Left cheek, right cheek, left cheek, right cheek.” LMAO I am so not joking! If you’re my mom, or if you have no earthly idea what I’m talking about…follow this link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nU2s8CaqUVg I admit, it’s a little crude, but you HAVE to listen all the way to the chorus to understand which part I’m talking about.

What can I say? I entertain myself on a daily basis. lol

Anyway, on to the thing I know y’all are all dying to hear about: MY UPDATE!

I went in for an ultrasound today for them to check to see if I have OHSS (Ovarian Hyper-Stimulation Syndrome). They were concerned that I may have it since I produced so many eggs.  While in the ultrasound room, the tech was showing me everything on the screen. She was looking for one of the OHSS indicators which would be fluid on top of my uterus, and she didn’t find any. BUT she also pointed out that I did have a little fluid under my pelvis, AND– get this– both of my ovaries were BIGGER than my uterus! It looked CRAZY! But she said it could be just that they had swelled up really fast (from the high med dosages) so it was taking them longer to settle back down.

Then the IVF nurse looked at everything, and basically said the same thing. BUT she also said that she’s pretty sure Dr. Lu will still want to do the transfer on Sunday. This nurse has gone though IVF before, and reassured me that if it were up to her, there’s no reason she wouldn’t do it Sunday. But we still had to get the final OK from the doctor…which was going to take a couple of hours. TORTURE, I tell ya! PURE TORTURE!

While we were in Nola, we were able to visit with a friend and her new baby at the hospital…(SO PRECIOUS!), we grabbed some lunch, and then headed home.

On the way home, we finally got the call we were waiting for….
IT’S SUNDAYYYYY!!! EEK! I’m so excited!!! Dr. Lu was pleased with my uterus (never in a million years did I think those words would come out of my mouth lol), and he is setting everything up for Sunday. EXCEPT. There’s one major (ok it’s minor…but still, for dramatic purposes, it’s MAJOR) pickle. Dr. Lu will be leaving the country…TOMORROW.  So a different doctor at FINO will be doing the procedure. His name is Dr. Dunaway. I haven’t heard any bad or good things about him. But the nurse assured me that every doctor at FINO follows the exact same protocol with zero variation, so it’ll be exactly the same as if Dr. Lu would be performing the transfer. I’m still wrapping my head around that one, but I’m sure I’ll be fine with it come Sunday.

Oh! How could I almost forget!? We also got our second report card while we were there! On Day 3 (which is today), they like to see the embryos have 4 to 8 cells. I also found out that FINO uses the grading scale that puts Grade 4 as the best. So, here’s what the lil embryos are looking like today:

• (1) 9 cell, grade 4
• (3) 8 cell, grade 4
• (5) 8 cell, grade 3
• (1) 7 cell, grade 4
• (1) 7 cell, grade 3
• (1) 6 cell, grade 3

If you’re bad at math, I’ll just let you know– ALL 12 SURVIVED THE NIGHT! AND each & every one of them has grown! EEK!!!! All of them are within the sweet spot we were looking for today, except the first one.  AND they are all grade 3 or 4, which is EXCELLENT! We’re looking GREAT! Thank you, Jesus!!! I can’t even BEGIN to describe how giddy, excited, relieved, nervous I am right now! I’m physically feeling much better today than I have been (other than the sore cheeks). No swelling in my tummy, and it’s only a little sensitive when I cough or something. Other than that, I am A.O.K.

Thanks SO much for all of the amazing support, you guys! I won’t have an update tomorrow because they like to let the embryos “rest” on the day before the transfer. So I’ll try to write an update either Sunday night or Monday 🙂
Happy Valentine’s Day, by the way!!

Love,
Emily

Our first report card

We received our first “update call” this morning & my head has been hurting ever since! lol

The embryo grading scale is so confusing, subjective, & non-uniform among different clinics. So it was really hard for me to find a resource that explained the grading scale in a way I understand it.

No worries, though!! I have to go in tomorrow for an ultrasound for them to check my uterus, and I’ll get a detailed report then 🙂

In the meantime, these were the grades we got today (please pardon my messy handwriting, I was jotting down as fast as she was talking lol):

The circled # is how many embryos.
The # before “cell” is how many cells that embryo is.
“G” stands for Grade.
And the # after G is the grade level.

So– “(1) 5 cell G4” reads like:
“One five-cell, grade 4.”

Like I said, the grades are confusing; so let’s just celebrate that all 12 embryos survived Day 1!!! YEA!!

Also, I want to send out a huge “PRAISE GOD!” for one of my friends (and fellow FINO patient) who found out TODAY that she is expecting & is no longer a member of The Broken Hearts Club!!! Way to go, girl!!! YAY!
God is so good! I can only hope that our turn is next!!!

Talk to y’all soon 🙂
Love,
Em

UPDATE TIME!!!

Hey guys! I’m so sorry it’s taken so long for me to write an update…I was kinda groggy yesterday 🙂 THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH for all of the calls, texts, & messages you’ve sent our way. We sure do feel truly LOVED! Lots of awesome things have happened in the last 36 hours, so I figured the easiest way to update you all is to write it in list form! Sorry if it’s too much info, I just gotta get it ALL out of this little head of mine 🙂

OK, so here it is– the TIMELINE–

• MONDAY–

  • We headed to New Orleans in the early afternoon, after I took care of some last minute things at work. One of the perks of being a small business owner include getting to CHOSE to work with the best people around…my support system at the studio is seriously STELLAR. Thanks, ladies! Three of my gals have really stepped up and offered to sub for all of the classes I teach, so we don’t have to cancel any! And one in particular, we’ll call her “AC,” has gone above & beyond in order to get licensed/certified to teach my programs so I don’t have to worry. I cannot even begin to describe the feeling of knowing my business is truly being taken care of by these trustworthy, inspiring, and above all LOVING people! Not to mention, when I walked into my office to tie up some loose ends, I found this: an awesome gift basket filled with magazines, candy, lots of art supplies, and an amazing card. AC has done it again! What have I done to deserve friendship like this? I can only hope to one day pay back all of the generosity that has come my way 🙂
  • 
  • Once we were on the road to Nola, we were on a mission. Part of our “Do’s & Don’ts Food List” said for the guy to eat oysters before the big day; so, of course, we headed to Drago’s! If you’ve never ventured to Drago’s, I highly recommend it. I don’t even eat seafood (yes, I know…a born & raised SouLA gal who doesn’t eat seafood…I realize I’m a conundrum lol), and still my dish was phenomenal! Here’s a pic of ONE of David’s plates after he devoured it:
  • Then we headed to the hotel, vegged for a bit, watched a movie, and then ventured back out for supper. Gotta love lazy days! Before we headed to Sucre’ for some dessert (if you’ve never heard of this slice of Heaven on earth, shame on you), it was fortune cookie time! Now, I’m not going to say I believe God speaks through fortune cookies, BUT this has GOT to be an awesome sign, right? RIGHT???
  • 
  • (If you can’t make it out, it says “GIRL.”) What, what!!!?!? So then we headed to Sucre, and then back to the hotel for the night. Sleeping was scarce. I think it was the combo of nervous excitement, someone’s snoring, and unnecessary light coming into the room. But all in all, I woke up the next morning ready to go!

• TUESDAY-

  • We woke up bright & early to head to FINO! I couldn’t eat or drink anything after midnight. It was a NASTY, rainy day yesterday, but we made it there in one piece. I’m extremely glad that we decided to spend the night in Nola Monday night, because I would have hated to drive in that crazy weather for an hour.
  • We checked in, got all surgeried-up (gown, paper cap, IV for anesthesia, etc), waited for the doctor, and I was in surgery by 8:35am.
  • Once I came out of surgery, I was able to eat animal cookies & Gatorade, so that was really nice 🙂 lol
  • The doc came in to update me, and the results were JAW DROPPING- They were able to get TWNETY-THREE EGGS!!! One egg was a level 1, two eggs were level 2, and TWENTY eggs were Level 3 (which is the BEST). So we have TWENTY PERFECT EGGS TO WORK WITH!!! I’m not going to say I didn’t cry (tears of joy) when he told us! lol TWENTY?!? WOW. We can definitely work with that!! Dr. Lu was VERY pleased.
  • Now, with 23 eggs harvested, a couple of complications can arise. That high of an egg count is GREAT, don’t get me wrong. But it can also mean that I’m at a higher risk for what’s known as hyper-stimulation. So I’m taking all of the precautions to heal myself from the inside out. This means LOTS of salt intake, surprisingly, and rest. I have to go back to FINO on Friday for them to do an ultrasound to determine if I have hyper-stimulation syndrome or not.
    • If I do have it- they will freeze all of the embryos, get me better (which takes about 6 weeks), then do a Frozen Embryo Transfer (FET).
    • If I don’t have it- we will do the embryo transfer sometime on Sunday.
  • Either way- the chances of a healthy pregnancy don’t waiver. So fresh or frozen transfer, it doesn’t matter. The goal is not just to get pregnant. The goal is to have a healthy pregnancy AND a live birth, and I (and my uterus) have to be healthy in order for that to happen.
  • Dr. Lu also said, that less than 10% of cases do “day 3 transfers” now;  so if we’re doing the fresh transfer, ours will definitely be on day 5, which is Sunday.
  • After they gave me all of my instructions and my first progesterone shot, they sent us on our way. I was really feeling fine, so we grabbed some breakfast, and then headed home. I slept & ate lots of salt the rest of the day lol
  • Oh! And one of my besties brought us a delicious roast for supper! One word: YUM!

• WEDNESDAY-

  • Soooo…today has been very interesting. I’m supposed to start my Z-pack, my steroids, my estrogen, and day 2 of my progesterone injections.
  • I spent the morning kinda sorta freaking out (just a little) because the needles the pharmacy sent me were not the same as the ones in the directions for my progesterone shot that David has to give me every morning for the next 2 weeks. Two voicemails, some research, two hours, and finally one call from my nurse later, I found out that I indeed DID have the right needles, but that they haven’t changed it on the instructions yet. PHEW! I’m not even going to get worked up over this…why bother.
  • Before David was able to get home & give me my shot, our nurse called to give us our first embryo update!!
  • Of the 20 perfect eggs, 16 were “workable,” and
    

    TWELVE OF THEM FERTILIZED!!! YAY!!! PRAISE THE GOOD LORD!

  • We will get another update tomorrow with their grades. I’ll post the grading scale in tomorrow’s blog update, it’s very interesting!!
  • So then, David was finally able to give me my progesterone shot (1.5 hours late). Our game plan is to scale back 15 minutes per day until we get to taking the shots at 9:00am. It was 10:30 today, 10:15 tomorrow, 10:00 the next day, etc…until we hit the sweet spot. No use freaking out…but it still kinda sucks.

So, that’s where we are! Now, it’s just time for me to take care of me, ingest MORE salt, and wait for my grades LOL…. I can’t even begin to thank you all so much for checking-in on me & sending me love & support over these past couple of days…WE ARE TRULY BLESSED!

“Talk” to you tomorrow 🙂
Em

God is SO good!

Before I get into the nitty-gritty of my IVF update, I just HAVE to sing praise to God for one of my good friends who– after countless years of suffering & waiting in the Broken Hearts Club– finally got the call on Friday that a birth mom picked HER family to adopt a beautiful newborn baby girl! IT’S ALL SO EXCITING!!! It took so long to happen, but once the ball got rolling it was a complete whirlwind! I am so beyond excited for them & I can’t wait to meet their beautiful angel!! CONGRATULATIONS FRIEND! You know who you are 😉

I can only hope that from now on this blog will be nothing but good news like ^THAT^!!

Lots of great things have happened since I last updated you guys on Thursday. I went into the office on Saturday AND Sunday (Yes, Sunday!) mornings for blood work & ultrasounds to check up on my growing follies. And everything still looks great! I love how my doctor’s office doesn’t care if they have to go in on Sundays…my nurse said, “Girl, your body doesn’t know it’s Sunday” lol So true! And I love that they truly care & WANT to get this right just as much as I do… that just makes me feel so at ease.

I was at my mom & dad’s house Sunday for lunch (to each some DEEELISH spaghetti) when the nurse called to let me know “IT’S TIME!” Say What??! YES!! It is time!!  It’s time to start preparing for my egg retrieval surgery at 8:30am on Tuesday! This is quite a few days earlier than I expected, but heck let’s go with it!
I took my HCG Shot (that’s the one that triggers ovulation) at exactly 8:31pm last night– it was supposed to be 8:30pm, but church let out late & I just wasn’t quick enough mixing it LOL. I guess that just means my retrieval will happen at 8:31am instead!

We’re heading into New Orleans this afternoon & sleeping in a hotel tonight since we have to be there much earlier than the surgery time tomorrow morning– to check in & set-up & all that “jazz.”  If you don’t know what that entails, but you’d like to know more, you can email me at faithinfertile@yahoo.com with any questions…or you can google it 🙂  There are lots of religious debates about the entire process of IVF, but egg retrieval, collection, & fertilization tend to be the touchiest.  I’ll just say this: we’re doing what we’ve prayed about & what we feel is right for US. We firmly believe that God would not have put us in this situation if He didn’t know that we’d make the right decisions. “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord, “Plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” JER 29:11  I always hold that close to my heart when times get tough or when I’m having trouble making a big decision like this.

So, my  timeline looks like this–

• MONDAY-
  • Easy day in the city…and David gets to eat lots of oysters! lol Bonus, right?
• TUESDAY-
  • Egg Retrieval Surgery- they will put me under anesthesia and go in and get all my follicles that have turned into eggs. It’s a simple procedure, but they recommend that I head straight home & rest for the remainder of the day.
  • ICSI (intra cytoplasmic sperm injection)- While I’m heading home, the embryologist will basically take David’s collected sperm in a needle and physically insert it into my eggs to fertilize them. **this is the thing that we didn’t do last time, that now we know we have to**
  • Then, we wait.
• WEDNESDAY-
  • I’ll get a call from the nurse to let me know how many eggs fertilized, and possibly the grades. (All fertilized eggs…embryos…are graded based on all kinds of things… they get an A, B, or C, and a 1,2,3,or 4. I’ll try to post what that all means on Wednesday)
• THURSDAY-
  • They’ll call with another update…hopefully the embryos will turn into blastocysts at some point around this time.
  • If they have, we’ll do a “Day 3 transfer” on Friday (VALENTINE’S DAY- EEK!!), if not we’ll do a “Day 5 transfer” on Sunday.  The transfer is when they take the blastocysts (yes, probably more than 1) and implant them back into my uterus. –This is where the “please, please, PLEASE ATTACH, little babies!” prayers come in!! lol
• FRIDAY-
  • Maybe an update
  • Maybe a transfer
• SATURDAY-
  • Maybe an update
• SUNDAY-
  • Maybe a transfer if we didn’t do it on Friday.

THEN. WE. WAIT.  The infamous two week wait (not so affectionately known to The Broken Hearts Club as “2WW”) will be the longest two weeks of my life! I’ll be on bed rest for the majority of that time. I’m so thankful for great friends and family who have already offered to cook for me, clean for me (like how I slipped that in there? lol), and visit with me throughout this time. SO BLESSED! Here’s a pic of an awesome present one of my besties left on my door step last night–

A copy of GLAMOUR Magazine, Theresa Caputo’s new book (the Long Island Medium…don’t judge. She’s fabulous.),  a lemon juicer & a pineapple corer (to help with my fertile myrtle diet), some post-its with one of my favorite new quotes “The best way to predict the future is to create it.”, and a truly lovely card.

SO AWESOME! She knows me TOO well! Thanks M!

Anyway, so that’s that! Please feel free to send me comments, prayers, messages, or hi-5s of encouragement over the next few weeks, I’m going to need them! Also, visits are highly encouraged…bring me food & movies, and you may even get a blog shout out! Holla! LOL j/k (kinda)

LOVE YOU GUYS!!!

Emily

 

 

Grow FOLLIES Grow!

My follicles are growing & everything’s looking great! And we’re on track for retrieval within the next week 🙂
Here’s a pic of the growth progress– as you can see, they’re getting bigger & I have about 30–

Keep those prayers coming!!
Thanks!