Shot through the heart…

“Shot through the heart…and Facebook’s to blame. It gives love a bad name.”

Have you ever just mindlessly opened up your Facebook and been accosted with something like this?

I have. Today, actually. And too many times to count before then. (The pic has been edited to cover up names.)

Look, I understand that everyone has the right to post whatever they want. That’s not the issue.  It just sucks royally to feel “judged” by someone who you know is completely clueless as to what’s going on in your life. Apparently, my heart is empty because I don’t have kids. [Oh, and obviously my wallet is just busting at the seams, right? HA! I’m no expert, but I can pretty much speculate that a normal pregnancy only costs a small percentage of what we’ve already paid in fertility bills. Just saying.]  And guess what. My heart is FAR from empty! I have an amazing husband, a wonderful family, the best friends a girl could ask for, AND THE. MOST. LOVING. GOD. PERIOD.  No, my heart is NOT empty. And how dare you assume that?

It’s just not fair. Here I was just going about my lovely little day, and BAM! No warning! A shot to the gut!
My second shot to the gut today, actually. Because I started my Lupron injections this morning…yay. I’ll be taking these shots for the next week or so. And then I have my first FET planning appointment on Wednesday. I am definitely looking forward to getting back on the horse and moving forward. I need to. I am so much less bitter when I’m working towards a pregnancy, instead of recovering from a negative. Please pray for me!

In other news, I’m going to see a new acupuncturist! Not that I don’t LOVE my current Belgian, it’s just becoming increasingly difficult to deal with his office. It feels like a cattle ranch (mostly because it’s just an over-populated outpatient medical office that deals with WAY more than acupuncture); and I’m looking for a more “holistic” and calming approach. Nothing takes you out of “it” more than a loud-ass tic-tocking clock and “MARIA, LINE 3. MARIA, LINE 3.” blaring through the intercom system randomly. Nope, definitely not the relaxing atmosphere I was hoping for. Not to mention the receptionists have no friggin clue what they are doing. But that’s another story.

The new guy I’m going to is in New Orleans, near my fertility doctor’s office. A friend of mine recommended him. And from all the information I’ve gathered, it looks like he’s actually in a practicing, holistic, acupuncture facility. Ahhhhh…my shoulders settle just thinking about it. I’ll definitely let y’all know how it goes!

Anyway, thanks for reading my rant.
And please, if you have kids, don’t think that I hate you. It’s just hard to see things like that over & over again.

I’ll post an update soon 🙂
THANKS!
Em

Warning- pity post:

Can I seriously not even watch “GLEE” without an infertility storyline?!? Like seriously?!? WTH??? It’s EVERYWHERE. There’s no escaping it. Ugh.

Ok rant over.
Sometimes you just gotta get it out.
KthanksBye!

Annnnnnndd thennnnn…they cover WilsonPhillips “Hold On,” and everything’s right with the world 🙂 LOL

Don’t Fret the FET

Well guys, it’s SUPPOSED to be Mardi Gras Day here in SouLA (South Louisiana)… but it is literally FREEZING & raining outside. You could not pay me to go out & parade in weather like this. So, David & I decided to take advantage of this day off & VEGE OUT.  I have to admit, it feels really nice to just lay around & watch movies, especially since I went back to work last night for the first time in three weeks. I’ll spare you the details… but let’s just say it wasn’t the easiest hour of cardio I’ve done in my life LOL.

Even though it’s nice to have this cold day off, it also reminds me a little too much of all the bed rest I was on the past few weeks. Which is yet another harsh reminder that my 2nd IVF cycle failed.

Then I remembered that my IVF nurse called yesterday with my calendar & medication list for our next step, so I decided to blog to keep you all in the loop (and to also get everything straight in my crazy little head) 🙂

See, in our meeting with Dr. Lu that immediately followed our negative pregnancy test, he told us to not make any decisions right away, but to go home, heal, and think about what & when we’d like our next step to be. For us, there is no question that our next step is to take care of those 8 frozen embryos who are waiting for us.

The question is: when?

Honestly, the thing that will take my mind away from & pull my heart off of dwelling on our recent loss is to look forward to the next steps. So, that’s what we’re doing. We aren’t wasting any time getting ready and preparing my body for an F.E.T. (Frozen Embryo Transfer).  The amazing thing is that IVF technology has improved so much over the past couple of years that the chances of pregnancy for FET are the same as (and sometimes better than) fresh transfer cycles! I’m comforted with the fact that I know quite a few people who are pregnant right now from doing FET. And I’m also at ease with knowing that my uterus will be completely “quiet” when it’s time for the transfer. Meaning, it will not have to go through the trauma of follicle stimulations or an egg retrieval surgery since the embryos are already here. Which also means no risk of OHSS (Ovarian Hyper Stimulation Syndrome). Not to mention,  it’ll cost waaaaaaaayyyy less $moula$ because of that.  Sounds too good to be true? It’s not! It’s God looking out for his homegirl. lol

So, once my cycle started (which was… I’ll just say it… a heinous bitch),  I called my nurse to let her know that we decided to start preparing for FET right away. She was very proud of us, especially since she knows how hard we took the news the last time she saw us. She called me back after talking with Dr. Lu to go over my calendar & to place my medication order. So here’s the timeline as we know it:

• As you know, I’m ALWAYS on a pre-natal vitamin
• 3/4 (today)-3/24 birth control pills- this “quiets” the uterus & gets rid of cysts caused from coming off of a failed fresh IVF cycle
• 3/20- 3/26 Lupron Injections (20units)-a hormone that will hold-off my ovulation until we are ready for the transfer
• 3/26 First FET prep appointment with Dr. Lu 1pm
  • Blood work
  • Ultrasound
  • This will determine when the transfer will be
  • Will probably start the progesterone hip injections again (NOT looking forward to that since my hip JUST stopped hurting from the last round)

So, that’s that! The next few weeks will probably be pretty quiet on my end while I attempt to get back to work, continue to heal, and get excited for my FET. Please keep those prayers a-comin!!
Oh yea, and Happy Mardi Gras 🙂